Do you see what I see?

Every year, on top of the major commercials for Christmas sales that we’ve seen since March, are hundreds of Christmas specials and holiday episodes of our favorite shows. Some do well to remind us that Christmas isn’t the only holiday (Rugrats, Glee), while others not as well (Warehouse 13). So while we have our classics that remind us that it’s okay to exploit freaks and steal without being punished, I decided to look for the better unappreciated and forgotten specials and holiday episodes out there.

 Star Wars Christmas (1978):
 

(part 1)

Whenever I watch this I wonder even more how George Lucas was ever allowed to continue the Star Wars empire past “A New Hope.” Combining light effects, guest stars with very little purpose, and lots and lots of Wookie-speak, the Star Wars Christmas Special tells the tale of Han and Chewie attempting to return to Chewbacca’s family on Kashyyk for Light Day. That’s right- this is a Christmas special about a made-up holiday. Along the way, the two have to escape from the Empire’s agents who are traversing the galaxy in search of rebels. While this is going on, Chewie’s family waits in worry for them. Several highlights of this include his father watching Diahann Carroll in what can only be construed as musical porn. This special was also the first introduction of Boba Fett, a fact I am sure many people tried to forget in order to appreciate Empire Strike Back.

 

Will Vinton’s A Claymation Christmas Celebration (1987):

(The California Raisins- Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer)

A common trend in animation during the 80’s, this special uses claymation to portray a variety show of popular Christmas carols, presented by Rex and Herb, 2 dinosaurs who enjoy the season. The highlight of this special for me has always been the finale featuring the California Raisins. When I was a kid, every time the raisin commercial would come on TV, I would always stop what I was doing immediately to watch it. I do the same with their Rudolph spot.

 

Pee Wee’s Playhouse- "Pee-Wee's Playhouse Christmas Special" (1988):
 

(Full Special)

 

Another staple of claymation in the 80’s, Pee Wee’s Playhouse often incorporated the craze in the cartoon of the day, most notably Penny. This special incorporates all fun aspects of Christmas specials, to the point that it parody’s the entire idea. With many unexpected guest starts (Whoopi Goldberg, Magic Johnson, Cher), ice skating and snowball fights (if you don’t have snow, just use 20 lbs of coconut shavings), musical numbers at ridiculous moments, and of course the kid who wants everything and doesn’t appreciate casual gifts like fruitcake (Pee Wee). It’s the perfect show for the entire family to watch and celebrate the end of another great….year. Aaaaahhhhh!

Doctor Who- "A Christmas Carol" (2010):

 

(Trailer)

Every year I can’t wait for Christmas just so I can watch the newest Doctor Who Christmas special. This year I’m awaiting the first episode with the new companion, Clara. But I still love some of the past year’s specials, including 2010’s “A Christmas Carol”. When a space liner on which companions Amy & Rory are spending their honeymoon gets caught in a planet’s electromagnetic field, the Doctor must travel to the planet and convince bitter old Kazran Sardick  (played by Michael Gambon), the only person in control of the planet’s atmosphere, the allow the ship freedom. To change Kazran’s mind, the Doctor takes the Tardis through time back to Kazran’s childhood, where the two release Abigail (Katherine Jenkins) from a cryogenic pod. However she can only be released one day at a time, so every year the Doctor meets up with Kazran, and the 3 have an adventure. Will the Doctor’s good deed make Kazran a better person? Will Kazran save the 4,000 people on the liner? Just ask the ghost of Christmas past, present and future.

The Neighbors- “Merry Crap-mas” (2012):

 

(Part 1)

This show just premiered Fall 2012, and while I’m still a bit skeptical on it lasting a season on ABC, the premier season’s Christmas episode may have actually cry for a moment (granted, it was probably from laughing). The show’s premise revolves around a community of extraterrestrials who landed on Earth, inexplicably forgetting the charger for their communication device, stranding them on Earth in a small housing complex in New Jersey. In 2012 the human Weaver family move in, and soon begin teaching them what human life is really about.

In this episode, when the Weavers ask to hide their children’s presents at the Birds’ home, the family gets interested in the idea of Christmas, winding up in a frenzy of package opening and passing gifts out to the community. In the end, the youngest Weaver, Abby, talks to Larry Bird (Simon Templeton), leading to a sentimental Christmas morning, topped off with strippers hula dancing and a pig running around the house.

 

Community- "Abed’s Uncontrollable Christmas" (2010)"

(Intro)

A pop-culture induced show of all sorts, Community’s second season came with a complete stop-motion animated episode. When Abed wakes up, he discovers that everything is stop-motion animated, and therefore that day must be Christmas special. Worried about Abed, the group tries talking him through a therapy session, which instead leads Abed on a mission through his own Winder Wonderland, to the North Pole to find the meaning of Christmas. Unlike the rest of the series, but not unlike the way Christmas specials should be, this episode includes many original holiday melodies, which makes Abed’s winter wonderland even more special.

Simpsons- "Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire" (1990):

(Full episode)

(I apologize about the quality. There aren't many quality youtube clips)

 

If any other episode had been chosen as the pilot of the Simpson’s 22-and-counting year span, I’m sure it would never have lasted as long as it has. While at the mall Christmas shopping, Bart decides to sneakily get a “Mother” tattoo, hoping to impress his classmates and his mother. When Marge catches him at the tattoo parlor, she pulls him out and immediately goes to a surgeon to remove it, spending all the Christmas money. Meanwhile, after discovering he isn’t getting a bonus, AND all the money is gone, Homer gets a job as the mall Santa. When he receives his check on Christmas Eve however, he learns the pay is only $13, and decides to spend it at the dog tracks with Barney. Homer and Bart bet it all on #8, Santa’s Little Helper, who comes in last. Despite all this, the Simpsons become the owners of Santa’s Little Helper, who has been abandoned by his owner due to his failure. As a dysfunctional family, the Simpsons proved in this first episode that presents and money are not entirely necessary for a wonderful Christmas, but instead, with their new family member, being together is all that is important.

X-files- "How the Ghosts Stole Christmas" (1998):

(Clips from the episode- again sorry about the quality.

Copyright infringement just isn't the same anymore)

In 1917, a young couple living in a house in 1917 agrees to a lover's pact—one killing the other, then committing suicide. Years after, any couple who ventured into the house on Christmas has the same fate. The shosts, who could not stand being apart in life, now especially not in the afterlife, wish to show how depressing Christmas can really be. After hearing this story, Mulder calls upon Scully to investigate. After the agents enter the house, the two ghosts of the two lovers (Ed Asner & Lily Tomlin) begin playing, causing walls and doors, bodies under floorboards to disappear and reappear, all the while appear themselves to Muder and Scully, discussing their flaws in order to force both of them to murder each other. Both Ed Asner and Lily Tomlin, playing the spirts who have now unusually aged, are the perfect couple in the episode, especially due to Asner’s grumpy old & sacastic attitude.

Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy- "Billy & Mandy Save Christmas" (2005):

To watch. click here:
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xu7t6z_the-grim-adventures-of-billy-and-mandy-save-christmas_shortfilms

To prove to Mandy that there is a Santa Claus, Grim creates a whole in the fabric of space so he, Billy and Mandy can go to the North Pole. At the workshop however, they discover that Santa’s been turned into a vampire, and the only way to save Christmas is to kill the Head Vampire, Baron Von Ghoulish. When they discover that they actually need to stake the Head Head Vampire (they did this whole reorganization this a couple 100 years ago), Mandy, Grim and the Baron continue on the adventure. Meanwhile, Billy remains at the workshop helping Mrs. Claus do all the work Santa has promised to do since marriage but has been too busy to do.

If you have ever seen The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy, this is a must watch. If not, it’s a great start into enjoying the adventures of sarcastic Mindy, mindless Billy, and their Jamaican Grim Reaper, Grim. The only qualm I have ever had about this episode is that Santa is voiced by Gilbert Gottfried. Hearing his voice always gets on my nerves, and playing Santa Claus means having to hear him and important parts of the show.

 Many of these specials, along with tons more Christmas television and movie madness can be found in Joanna Wilson’s book “The Christmas TV Companion.” I bought her book a few years ago at Oddmall and was so excited about all the old shows I’d forgotten about and all the new joys I immediately went to youtube to find. Also, if you haven’t already played all the videos above, you may notice that I found full versions and playlists of several specials listed. I would probably have found even more not-so-traditional shows to list here, but as we near Christmas, I wanted to post this so all could enjoy these shows while the season was still in full swing.

What are your favorite holiday specials? If you have any more off-the-wall holiday specials, leae them in the comments.

I've begun to notice, despite my initial plan to blog more since I have much time off work to do so, that I have faulted in doing so. While I've been trying to keep my minding rolling, I've found that working unsteady hours has lead to a constant need to do nothing but lay on the couch watching Star Trek: The Next Gerneration (As a side note, I am awaiting season 2, though still can't get my head around my childhood Reading Rainbow Levar Burton being the same person as ST Levar Burton).

Yesterday however, I was reading my morning comics- web and newspaper alike- and couldn't help but laugh and how exact Not Invented Here had my lack of....well I might as well say, ambition. (You may have to click the image to read it. I can't get the size exactly right and still have it inside the parameters)

Copyright Not Invented Here by Bill Barnes and Paul Southworth. 30/04/12 www.notinventedhere.com. If you haven't checked it out, do so now.

Desmond's lack of blogging made me laugh to the point of crying. And not crying from laughing so hard. I cried because I've lost what I once had- ambition for writing. Happiness when I put pen to paper or fist to computer when my screen freezes while I'm hammering out lines of unseen text.

I received a phone call this morning from a delightful woman from a local creative talent staffing corporation with whom I applied online yesterday. The extremely fast turnaround made me doubtful about a positive career oportunity, though I was happy to hear from somebody, especially a possible editing position.  We talked, discussing all the work I've done, possible reasons I haven't been called back about any jobs, the type of work I've been looking for, only for her to finish the call with "Well, unfortunately we don't have any openings at this time, but I'll send you my contact information and will let you know if something opens up." I could quote that to you only because I've heard it way too many times.

As we discussed what I've been doing for the last year, I told her about my work at the library, how I've worked freelance, and about how I've been keeping up a blog. As I said this, I knew right then how much I was lying to her. In fact, while I know part of my portfolio in my application includes a link to this blog, I doubt mentioning this will affect it in any way due to my luck with getting people to notice me over the last year.

I have been working on a blog, though it hasn't been mine. With all the work I put into advertising my freelance services, I would up with 2 clients as of now. For these 2 students, I have edited several papers, set up a blog site, and remembered the very reasons I did not go back for a third degree. While this work has begun to get stressful (especially the 12 hour day combining insane Cuyahoga Falls nutcases with 2.5 hours editing a 10-page research study proposal with it's writer), getting to sit down and edit work has been enjoyable. While I've heard different comments from past coworkers over the years, my job as proofreader was the best job I've ever had.

Plus, it has taught me a plethora if interesting information. Lately I've learned more about Down syndrome from editing one student's work than I've ever contemplated. As well, I sent my mind back into the hidden reaches where I shoved every spec of data about research studies to fix one proposal about teachers not following policies for students with disabilities.

So in retrospect, for everybody who says an English degree will get you nowhere, they're only half right. It'll get you good work, but that work is just really hard to find.

As for my blogging, I hope to be writing something else here by Thursday. Let's hope that comes around.

The Difficulty of Watching Horror

As most of you probably already know, Joss Whedon— the generous behind such many great works as Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Firefly, Serenity, and Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog— has created yet another box-office smash movie coming to theaters. Now, for everybody who immediately thought I’m referring to The Avengers (a movie I’ll still surely be seeing), I was actually talking about Cabin in the Woods.

Cabin in the Woods, according to reviews, is supposed to be a completely new look at the horror movie genre, taking many aspects of horror movies over the years and adding Whedon’s personal touch of greatness to it.

Since it’s already in the theater, I could simply go see the movie at any time (money permitting, which seems like it never does), but seeing a horror movie, no matter the director, on the big screen seems like a bad choice. In the past I have only ever seen 2 horror movies on the big screen— Scream 4 and Plan 9 from Outer Space. Granted, while the latter is hardly scarier than an anthill, at its initial release, it was meant to be a “go to the theater to scare your pants off” movie. As for the ever-confusing reasons I paid to see Scream 4 alone, only to be even more confused by its continued lameness, I cannot explain. Needless to say, I was more nightmare-prone after The Dark Knight than by these. These are of course not the only horror movie I have viewed, which leads to my dilemma.

I learned a long time ago not to watch any movie or TV show meant to have any sort of scare tactics after 7:30 at night (roughly cutting into sunset). Basically, in the words of the Barenaked Ladies, I won’t “watch X-files with the lights off.” For the most part, I’ve done well by this. I only watch Disney movies after working closing shift, and record things like The River for the next morning.

As it is though, even watching early in the day, I’ve had disruptions. One Saturday, after purposely watching Paranormal Activity around 3, still with most indoor lights on around me as well, I remained scared out of my wits for a week, continuously reminded of ghost stories I’d heard about my apartment building years before. I made a worse mistake when I chose to watch the Twin Peaks movie at bedtime, thinking it would be humorous like the show. A week later I finally chose to turn my hall light off.

Taking this into consideration, I feel it would be a bad investment to pay to watch Cabin in a dark theater, no matter the number of other patrons there, if I wind up having outcomes like these. Especially if I can wait for the DVD in the far future. Why not save my money for The Avengers. Or worse, the ever-depressing Dark Shadows remake I had waited in anticipation for years now.

Back in my day, we had to imagine the world was only 8 bits

When I was 10 or 11, what I wanted more than anything in the world was a Nintendo. Quite a few of my friends has video game systems, and while it wasn’t a regular topic of discussion, everybody would bring up different games and how they had beaten such and such levels. These games sounded cool. The TV commercials made them look cool (all except Fester’s Quest, whose commercial creeped me out every time I saw it).

After much begging, my mother finally agreed that if I behaved myself for a certain amount of time, I might get a Nintendo system for my birthday. I was ecstatic- I just had to be good and not complain. Now, while I can not remember for sure what kind of kid I was back then, I have heard stories and seen pictures to recall that I was a rather bratty kid. It must certainly been difficult for me not to act up long enough to be eligible for my birthday present.

After a calendar full of stars for good behavior (or most likely part of a calendar plus suspiciously added stars that nobody knew where they came from), I received an original Nintendo Entertainment System. Now this was not the newest system in the stores at the time. Most of my friends had Segas or Super Nintendos. According to my parents, our television was too old to support such a newer system so I got this. Even though we had a large, aging built-in cabinet Magnavox TV that we would probably still have had lightning not hit in when I was in Junior High, I question this reasoning in my mind still to this day.

I don’t think my video game experience would have been the same had I gotten a newer system however. After cleaning the living room and making room to set my new game up (a mandatory chore if I ever wanted to see my present again), my dad set it up and we pulled out my new games: Super Mario Bros./Duck Hunt(I wouldn’t get to play Duck Hunt until a years later when my cousins were forbidden from using the gun and it was passed on to me), Tetris, and Maniac Mansion.

I thought back to these games recently while I was playing Super Mario: The Lost Levels, an import Mario game that had been release for the original Nintendo overseas (it was later released here in the US for the Super Nintendo as part of a Super Mario 4-pack game cartridge). I have recently learned that one of the joys of the Wii is Nintendo’s online shop for downloading old systems’ games for the new Wii system. While it doesn’t have all the games that had been released, and some games require players to buy a “classic controller” (yet another was to tear money from our cold, dead wallets), it is a great way to revisit times like these, sitting in the living room, trying to make Mario jump over a steep cliff of flat, square bricks, or discussing with the green tentacle how everybody hates him and how disco sucks.

I’ve recently been told that my sister and I may have been the only people who played Maniac Mansion as children during the 90s— despite the few friends I remember discussing the game with in the past. As one of my sister’s friends told her, judging by its wikipedia page, it’s lame and was just a game out parents’ gave up because they didn’t want us playing violent ones. In all honesty, while it wasn’t violent, it also wasn’t lame. A puzzle-strategy game about a bunch of teenagers— a nerd, a grunge preppy (yeah, I still don’t understand how Dave even existed as a character), a (somewhat slutty-however you can get in 8-bit) goth, a surfer dude, and Syd- a character I barely remember but is on the cover art. There was also Sandy, Dave’s girlfriend, who the characters are breaking into Dr Fred’s mansion to save. I somewhat recall when we finally find Sandy, she’s in nothing but her underwear. Actually, as I describe these characters, I wonder whether I ever actually finished the game as a kid, because I can’t imagine anybody walking in the room at any of these points and not questioning it. Especially at the end, which as I finally finished it as an adult, I learned was a sad attempt at recreating the final scene in Rocky Horror Picture Show without the transsexuals. So yes, while Maniac Mansion was in no way as violent as most other games on the market at the time, it wasn’t a normal, blah game.

If I had started with games like Super Mario World or Sonic the Hedgehog, I don’t think I would have appreciated the complex plot-driven stories these kinds of 8-bit games provided, because I would have been too awestruck by the awesome graphics. As I say these words now about Sonic the Hedgehog, a game I just played only a few days ago, I wonder what it was like to think that those were so great.

I think of these again as I get frustrated playing the new Ghostbusters game for the Wii, fighting for 15 minutes with twisting a battery cell in the right direction to fit into a generator, wondering why the game couldn’t be 2-dimensional so I could simply just push it into place with very little movement.

I’m sure in the future, when all we have are chips implanted in our brain, allowing us to imagine ourselves in the game, we’ll wonder how people even used controllers.


ADDITON: After I wrote this I learned from my research that there was a Maniac Mansion TV show that ran for 3 years. Judging from the intros, it was VERY loosely based on the game.



Also, since that time I have played Fester's Quest. I don't believe I've ever finished the game, but it was fun lighting my way with bulbs in his mouth.

Book Review: The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern

“The circus arrives without warning. No announcements precede it, no paper notices on downtown posts and billboards, no mentions or advertisements in local newspapers. It is simply there, when yesterday it was not.”

I don’t remember whether I was big on circuses as a kid. Fairs and carnivals were always fun, but I always went mainly for the rigged games. If Le Cirque des Rêves had been in town at the time though, I’m sure I never would have left.

In the later part of the 19th Century, a small group of compatriots out plans during one of Chandresh Lefèvre’s famous Midnight Dinners for a lavish circus, spanning a field of tents, each with different performers, surrounded by various extravagant foods, extraordinary rides, and the brilliance of magic. The circus would open similar to Chandresh’s dinners—only at night, opening at nightfall, closing at dawn. After its time in a town, they would pick up and relocate.

Unknown to most of the original minds behind the circus however, that it was much more than just an exhibit, but also the setting of a game begun years prior. The game, set between Celia— daughter of Prospero the Enchanter, and Marco— the adopted child of Mr. A. H— tests both persons’ skills at magic and deception. As the opponents try to understand the game, their magic continues to bring the circus alive, as well as its members.

Blending fantasy and magical realism with historical fiction, Morgenstern crafts words and phrases together in The Night Circus so beautifully that each page made me feel as if I actually were walking through Le Cirque des Rêves, taking in the wafting scent of caramel, wandering through the Birdcage room of the Labyrinth, experiencing the acrobats performing without a net, or simply witnessing the wonder of Celia the Illusionist.

If I were currently a fan of the circus, I don’t think I could return to another Barnum & Bailey show again after experiences Le Cirque des Rêves.

After reading The Night Circus, I have joined the ranks of the rêveurs, wearing a hint of red in a black and white circus. I invite you to tag along.

The following is a book trailer I found on Amazon. It doesn’t come close to doing the atmosphere of the book justice, but it’s a start.

DVD Review: Supernatural: The Anime Series

Over the years different television traditions have been held in my family. These started with the show American Dreams, when my entire family would sit down on Sunday evenings and watch together. This eventually stopped when the show was cancelled, but we grew on to different shows. One such television tradition that lasted up until a few years ago was Supernatural. On Thursday nights my mother and I would sit in front of the TV and bond, as we watched demons and monsters get unbonded. While the show is still on the air, and I still watch occasionally on my own, it has since lost what it once had.

Recently a friend mentioned this peculiar find to me, and deciding it couldn’t hurt to try watching it, I ordered Supernatural: The Anime Series through the library. Not an avid fan of anime in general, or even a committed reader of Japanese manga, I wasn’t sure what to think before I began. Browsing manga based on popular American and British series, I have never been impressed, not felt the recreations were absolutely necessary. This series however, threw all my suspicions out the window, and in fact made me remember why I fell in love with Supernatural to begin with.

Set during the time of the first 2 seasons, the anime series combines remakes of the original series classics with brand new anime originals, enhancing the story with new characters and storylines along Sam and Dean’s path. As a result, some characters take on new roles, new characters are taken advantage of, and events throughout the series unravel differently than before.

Despite these changes, the new story belongs as much to Kripke as it does Takayama (the writer of the anime’s majority). Sam (once again voiced by Jared Padalecki) and Dean (voiced by Andrew Farrar, a suitable- but not perfect- replacement for Jensen Ackles, who reprises his role in the final 2 episodes) begin the series on the road searching for their dad, John Winchester, who mysteriously disappeared a trip hunting the demon that killed his wife. Along the boys’ journey, they meet up with such older monsters as shape-shifters, telepaths, and the crossroads demon, plus such new creatures as lake monsters and father and son vampires trying to live without killing.

While the stories and characters never fall far from their originals, I found more to desired from the presentation of certain characters. For instance, the following is Bobby Singer and John Winchester:


Although I admit that representations of real-life actors can never be perfect in animation, the personas of Jensen and Jared are animated well enough that sometimes I felt Bobby’s image was drawn like this to spite viewers. Why exactly, we shall never know.

Overall, the series is a must-watch for any fan of the original series, especially if you are a fan of Japanese anime. I would provide one warning before you begin: you will begin to hate Kansas’s “Carry On Wayward Son,” the theme music, played during the credits which fall directly before the final scene in each episode.

Rate: A- (For Bobby, and also I really can’t take that song anymore)

Same life, new blog post

So those who know me well and talk to me on a somewhat regular basis would certainly laugh and start heckling me if I just suddenly said I am not a grumpy person often. This would, and by all means should happen more if I were to mention how I never curse the world and complain about life or people in my life.

So I will simply not lie. Life has sucked pretty hardcore lately. Therefore, I decided to attempt the reprisal of this blog site that never really was, in hopes of blogging about happy things. Like unicorns, or Netflix Wonder Years marathons, or even dogs shitting on deuschbag neighbors’ lawns.

This however, as already mentioned, is not one of those blogs.

Since last April, I have been working one job. For those who are new to the life of El Barto, for the longest time, I have been a bi-employment person, leading to a life of 70-some-hour work weeks. I was very much used to this life, as I had no life to start out with. This also aided in auditors’ favorite phrase “bill paying.”

Since April I have search and searched. No 2nd or even new profession jumped out at me with a “Hey Bart, come life you life out here. We’re fun.” There weren’t even any who didn’t know how to say those last words.

As I find myself falling deeper and deeper into despair however, I have recently come into more hours and job number uno, which can only make me happy.

Of course, this does not last long, for during the last 3 days, I have been faced with the undeniably even concept of a backed up drain. Now, this is the first time I have come across this in my current location, adding to the list of “Living alone for the first time when you short” difficulties. Now this of course has little to do with being short, but finds its way in easily with not being tall enough to beat the smoke detector down and learning to life in a dark cave like a hermit because the burnt-out light bulb keeps mocking you. I have added to this list over the last 3 years, finding too large a number of reasons I never should have moved out of my parents’ house, only to remember that I can now watch Doctor Who whenever I want.

As the bathtub mocks me on this round, dirty water everywhere, I see nothing getting any worse than this for now. Now comprehending this idea, I decide to run the vacuum over the bath mat in order to dry it a tad— an idea I probably ought to have thought over before attempted as it was. For thought had not come about, the result was that now the area smells like smoke, something I have yet to figure out why. I sprayed Febreeze in the air, hoping to help mask the smell. I mean, come on, stoners do it, lazy college students who don’t shower or wash their clothes do it, why not me? So far, not much, but it has cut down on the smell a tad. Or maybe it’s just life trying to smile down on my without cracking up. It seems even when life DOESN’T look like easy street, danger sill likes to come around to mock you, with the flickering light bulb that only does so when the weeping angels are on television.

I hope to continue blogging, perhaps starting a log of my job application adventures, leaving out anything that could get me in trouble with an employer that might decide they enjoy reading my ramblings.