The Difficulty of Watching Horror

As most of you probably already know, Joss Whedon— the generous behind such many great works as Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Firefly, Serenity, and Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog— has created yet another box-office smash movie coming to theaters. Now, for everybody who immediately thought I’m referring to The Avengers (a movie I’ll still surely be seeing), I was actually talking about Cabin in the Woods.

Cabin in the Woods, according to reviews, is supposed to be a completely new look at the horror movie genre, taking many aspects of horror movies over the years and adding Whedon’s personal touch of greatness to it.

Since it’s already in the theater, I could simply go see the movie at any time (money permitting, which seems like it never does), but seeing a horror movie, no matter the director, on the big screen seems like a bad choice. In the past I have only ever seen 2 horror movies on the big screen— Scream 4 and Plan 9 from Outer Space. Granted, while the latter is hardly scarier than an anthill, at its initial release, it was meant to be a “go to the theater to scare your pants off” movie. As for the ever-confusing reasons I paid to see Scream 4 alone, only to be even more confused by its continued lameness, I cannot explain. Needless to say, I was more nightmare-prone after The Dark Knight than by these. These are of course not the only horror movie I have viewed, which leads to my dilemma.

I learned a long time ago not to watch any movie or TV show meant to have any sort of scare tactics after 7:30 at night (roughly cutting into sunset). Basically, in the words of the Barenaked Ladies, I won’t “watch X-files with the lights off.” For the most part, I’ve done well by this. I only watch Disney movies after working closing shift, and record things like The River for the next morning.

As it is though, even watching early in the day, I’ve had disruptions. One Saturday, after purposely watching Paranormal Activity around 3, still with most indoor lights on around me as well, I remained scared out of my wits for a week, continuously reminded of ghost stories I’d heard about my apartment building years before. I made a worse mistake when I chose to watch the Twin Peaks movie at bedtime, thinking it would be humorous like the show. A week later I finally chose to turn my hall light off.

Taking this into consideration, I feel it would be a bad investment to pay to watch Cabin in a dark theater, no matter the number of other patrons there, if I wind up having outcomes like these. Especially if I can wait for the DVD in the far future. Why not save my money for The Avengers. Or worse, the ever-depressing Dark Shadows remake I had waited in anticipation for years now.

Back in my day, we had to imagine the world was only 8 bits

When I was 10 or 11, what I wanted more than anything in the world was a Nintendo. Quite a few of my friends has video game systems, and while it wasn’t a regular topic of discussion, everybody would bring up different games and how they had beaten such and such levels. These games sounded cool. The TV commercials made them look cool (all except Fester’s Quest, whose commercial creeped me out every time I saw it).

After much begging, my mother finally agreed that if I behaved myself for a certain amount of time, I might get a Nintendo system for my birthday. I was ecstatic- I just had to be good and not complain. Now, while I can not remember for sure what kind of kid I was back then, I have heard stories and seen pictures to recall that I was a rather bratty kid. It must certainly been difficult for me not to act up long enough to be eligible for my birthday present.

After a calendar full of stars for good behavior (or most likely part of a calendar plus suspiciously added stars that nobody knew where they came from), I received an original Nintendo Entertainment System. Now this was not the newest system in the stores at the time. Most of my friends had Segas or Super Nintendos. According to my parents, our television was too old to support such a newer system so I got this. Even though we had a large, aging built-in cabinet Magnavox TV that we would probably still have had lightning not hit in when I was in Junior High, I question this reasoning in my mind still to this day.

I don’t think my video game experience would have been the same had I gotten a newer system however. After cleaning the living room and making room to set my new game up (a mandatory chore if I ever wanted to see my present again), my dad set it up and we pulled out my new games: Super Mario Bros./Duck Hunt(I wouldn’t get to play Duck Hunt until a years later when my cousins were forbidden from using the gun and it was passed on to me), Tetris, and Maniac Mansion.

I thought back to these games recently while I was playing Super Mario: The Lost Levels, an import Mario game that had been release for the original Nintendo overseas (it was later released here in the US for the Super Nintendo as part of a Super Mario 4-pack game cartridge). I have recently learned that one of the joys of the Wii is Nintendo’s online shop for downloading old systems’ games for the new Wii system. While it doesn’t have all the games that had been released, and some games require players to buy a “classic controller” (yet another was to tear money from our cold, dead wallets), it is a great way to revisit times like these, sitting in the living room, trying to make Mario jump over a steep cliff of flat, square bricks, or discussing with the green tentacle how everybody hates him and how disco sucks.

I’ve recently been told that my sister and I may have been the only people who played Maniac Mansion as children during the 90s— despite the few friends I remember discussing the game with in the past. As one of my sister’s friends told her, judging by its wikipedia page, it’s lame and was just a game out parents’ gave up because they didn’t want us playing violent ones. In all honesty, while it wasn’t violent, it also wasn’t lame. A puzzle-strategy game about a bunch of teenagers— a nerd, a grunge preppy (yeah, I still don’t understand how Dave even existed as a character), a (somewhat slutty-however you can get in 8-bit) goth, a surfer dude, and Syd- a character I barely remember but is on the cover art. There was also Sandy, Dave’s girlfriend, who the characters are breaking into Dr Fred’s mansion to save. I somewhat recall when we finally find Sandy, she’s in nothing but her underwear. Actually, as I describe these characters, I wonder whether I ever actually finished the game as a kid, because I can’t imagine anybody walking in the room at any of these points and not questioning it. Especially at the end, which as I finally finished it as an adult, I learned was a sad attempt at recreating the final scene in Rocky Horror Picture Show without the transsexuals. So yes, while Maniac Mansion was in no way as violent as most other games on the market at the time, it wasn’t a normal, blah game.

If I had started with games like Super Mario World or Sonic the Hedgehog, I don’t think I would have appreciated the complex plot-driven stories these kinds of 8-bit games provided, because I would have been too awestruck by the awesome graphics. As I say these words now about Sonic the Hedgehog, a game I just played only a few days ago, I wonder what it was like to think that those were so great.

I think of these again as I get frustrated playing the new Ghostbusters game for the Wii, fighting for 15 minutes with twisting a battery cell in the right direction to fit into a generator, wondering why the game couldn’t be 2-dimensional so I could simply just push it into place with very little movement.

I’m sure in the future, when all we have are chips implanted in our brain, allowing us to imagine ourselves in the game, we’ll wonder how people even used controllers.


ADDITON: After I wrote this I learned from my research that there was a Maniac Mansion TV show that ran for 3 years. Judging from the intros, it was VERY loosely based on the game.



Also, since that time I have played Fester's Quest. I don't believe I've ever finished the game, but it was fun lighting my way with bulbs in his mouth.

Book Review: The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern

“The circus arrives without warning. No announcements precede it, no paper notices on downtown posts and billboards, no mentions or advertisements in local newspapers. It is simply there, when yesterday it was not.”

I don’t remember whether I was big on circuses as a kid. Fairs and carnivals were always fun, but I always went mainly for the rigged games. If Le Cirque des Rêves had been in town at the time though, I’m sure I never would have left.

In the later part of the 19th Century, a small group of compatriots out plans during one of Chandresh Lefèvre’s famous Midnight Dinners for a lavish circus, spanning a field of tents, each with different performers, surrounded by various extravagant foods, extraordinary rides, and the brilliance of magic. The circus would open similar to Chandresh’s dinners—only at night, opening at nightfall, closing at dawn. After its time in a town, they would pick up and relocate.

Unknown to most of the original minds behind the circus however, that it was much more than just an exhibit, but also the setting of a game begun years prior. The game, set between Celia— daughter of Prospero the Enchanter, and Marco— the adopted child of Mr. A. H— tests both persons’ skills at magic and deception. As the opponents try to understand the game, their magic continues to bring the circus alive, as well as its members.

Blending fantasy and magical realism with historical fiction, Morgenstern crafts words and phrases together in The Night Circus so beautifully that each page made me feel as if I actually were walking through Le Cirque des Rêves, taking in the wafting scent of caramel, wandering through the Birdcage room of the Labyrinth, experiencing the acrobats performing without a net, or simply witnessing the wonder of Celia the Illusionist.

If I were currently a fan of the circus, I don’t think I could return to another Barnum & Bailey show again after experiences Le Cirque des Rêves.

After reading The Night Circus, I have joined the ranks of the rêveurs, wearing a hint of red in a black and white circus. I invite you to tag along.

The following is a book trailer I found on Amazon. It doesn’t come close to doing the atmosphere of the book justice, but it’s a start.

DVD Review: Supernatural: The Anime Series

Over the years different television traditions have been held in my family. These started with the show American Dreams, when my entire family would sit down on Sunday evenings and watch together. This eventually stopped when the show was cancelled, but we grew on to different shows. One such television tradition that lasted up until a few years ago was Supernatural. On Thursday nights my mother and I would sit in front of the TV and bond, as we watched demons and monsters get unbonded. While the show is still on the air, and I still watch occasionally on my own, it has since lost what it once had.

Recently a friend mentioned this peculiar find to me, and deciding it couldn’t hurt to try watching it, I ordered Supernatural: The Anime Series through the library. Not an avid fan of anime in general, or even a committed reader of Japanese manga, I wasn’t sure what to think before I began. Browsing manga based on popular American and British series, I have never been impressed, not felt the recreations were absolutely necessary. This series however, threw all my suspicions out the window, and in fact made me remember why I fell in love with Supernatural to begin with.

Set during the time of the first 2 seasons, the anime series combines remakes of the original series classics with brand new anime originals, enhancing the story with new characters and storylines along Sam and Dean’s path. As a result, some characters take on new roles, new characters are taken advantage of, and events throughout the series unravel differently than before.

Despite these changes, the new story belongs as much to Kripke as it does Takayama (the writer of the anime’s majority). Sam (once again voiced by Jared Padalecki) and Dean (voiced by Andrew Farrar, a suitable- but not perfect- replacement for Jensen Ackles, who reprises his role in the final 2 episodes) begin the series on the road searching for their dad, John Winchester, who mysteriously disappeared a trip hunting the demon that killed his wife. Along the boys’ journey, they meet up with such older monsters as shape-shifters, telepaths, and the crossroads demon, plus such new creatures as lake monsters and father and son vampires trying to live without killing.

While the stories and characters never fall far from their originals, I found more to desired from the presentation of certain characters. For instance, the following is Bobby Singer and John Winchester:


Although I admit that representations of real-life actors can never be perfect in animation, the personas of Jensen and Jared are animated well enough that sometimes I felt Bobby’s image was drawn like this to spite viewers. Why exactly, we shall never know.

Overall, the series is a must-watch for any fan of the original series, especially if you are a fan of Japanese anime. I would provide one warning before you begin: you will begin to hate Kansas’s “Carry On Wayward Son,” the theme music, played during the credits which fall directly before the final scene in each episode.

Rate: A- (For Bobby, and also I really can’t take that song anymore)

Same life, new blog post

So those who know me well and talk to me on a somewhat regular basis would certainly laugh and start heckling me if I just suddenly said I am not a grumpy person often. This would, and by all means should happen more if I were to mention how I never curse the world and complain about life or people in my life.

So I will simply not lie. Life has sucked pretty hardcore lately. Therefore, I decided to attempt the reprisal of this blog site that never really was, in hopes of blogging about happy things. Like unicorns, or Netflix Wonder Years marathons, or even dogs shitting on deuschbag neighbors’ lawns.

This however, as already mentioned, is not one of those blogs.

Since last April, I have been working one job. For those who are new to the life of El Barto, for the longest time, I have been a bi-employment person, leading to a life of 70-some-hour work weeks. I was very much used to this life, as I had no life to start out with. This also aided in auditors’ favorite phrase “bill paying.”

Since April I have search and searched. No 2nd or even new profession jumped out at me with a “Hey Bart, come life you life out here. We’re fun.” There weren’t even any who didn’t know how to say those last words.

As I find myself falling deeper and deeper into despair however, I have recently come into more hours and job number uno, which can only make me happy.

Of course, this does not last long, for during the last 3 days, I have been faced with the undeniably even concept of a backed up drain. Now, this is the first time I have come across this in my current location, adding to the list of “Living alone for the first time when you short” difficulties. Now this of course has little to do with being short, but finds its way in easily with not being tall enough to beat the smoke detector down and learning to life in a dark cave like a hermit because the burnt-out light bulb keeps mocking you. I have added to this list over the last 3 years, finding too large a number of reasons I never should have moved out of my parents’ house, only to remember that I can now watch Doctor Who whenever I want.

As the bathtub mocks me on this round, dirty water everywhere, I see nothing getting any worse than this for now. Now comprehending this idea, I decide to run the vacuum over the bath mat in order to dry it a tad— an idea I probably ought to have thought over before attempted as it was. For thought had not come about, the result was that now the area smells like smoke, something I have yet to figure out why. I sprayed Febreeze in the air, hoping to help mask the smell. I mean, come on, stoners do it, lazy college students who don’t shower or wash their clothes do it, why not me? So far, not much, but it has cut down on the smell a tad. Or maybe it’s just life trying to smile down on my without cracking up. It seems even when life DOESN’T look like easy street, danger sill likes to come around to mock you, with the flickering light bulb that only does so when the weeping angels are on television.

I hope to continue blogging, perhaps starting a log of my job application adventures, leaving out anything that could get me in trouble with an employer that might decide they enjoy reading my ramblings.

Clarissa Darling, please explain this to me

I’d like to stop right here and pose a horribly true fact many of us don’t want to hear: 1991 WAS 20 YEARS AGO!

That’s right; all of us 90’s kids are getting old. It’s not something I like to think about much.

I realized this yesterday when I was watching none other that Clarissa Explains it All and saw that the copyright date was 1992. I was 9 years old in 1992. Then I realized another thing: Shows like Clarissa were back in that time also; I don’t see many kids’ shows like that today.

As a result of having an unwished for amount of time off work, I spend more time than necessary watching TV, a lot of times landing on the Disney Channel. Yes, I’ll admit it, I watch the Disney Channel. I became addicted to Wizards of Waverly Place a while back due to its completely off-course views of witchcraft, and gradually found other shows I still wish I’d never encountered. Phineas and Ferb seems to keep the mind rolling with every episode and sometimes I think might have some sort of actual scientific fact in there. Plus it’s a suburban family with a freaking platypus as a pet. I see nothing wrong with that platypus being a secret agent. What I’d like to know is who lived in the suburbs with a platypus and the platypus can survive. Even more, who owns a platypus!

Back to my original question, looking at shows like this today, do they even compare to out childhood TV?

About 2 years ago I began compiling different theme songs on my iPod to play during work at my proofreading job. As we worked we were permitted to play music in order to keep the day from getting dull at times. Each day would often be granted to a different person, and so on my day, after the extreme complaints from a few coworkers finished, I would play music, interspersed with the nostalgic themes from out favorite shows. As my coworker Kristen pointed out, “I know I spent time outside with friends, but it seems like I watched a lot of TV as a kid” (This is quoted very loosely, being almost 2 years past).

With all the shows on TV in that time period however, it really felt this way. I remember watching Clarissa Darling when I was a kid, constantly watching one of my childhood crushes every episode. I believe as I grew up, even as awesome as Sabrina the Teenage Witch was, Melissa Joan Hart didn’t have the same style. There was something about watching as Clarissa explained life from her own P.O.V. (Point of View), watching as she made her own video games (usually about rid the world of Fergface), and Sam with his own personal welcome strum that still can’t be outmatched. Especially by Melissa and Joey-- HUH?

I'd like to pause for a brief addition about the great Clarissa Darling from Rosianna (@papertimelady):

Clarissa isn't the only great Nickelodeon show I've grown to relove. This week was the first week of TeenNick's "90's are All That" midnight block, showing oldschool Nick shows from from 90s. currently they have All That, Keenan & Kel, Clarissa and Doug. I never really got much into Keenan & Kel when I was a kid, except for maybe the occasional GoodBurger sketch on All That, something I see today and still question whether doctors had prescribed me the wrong medicines at the time.

All That however, brings a lot of memories back. For one many of my favorite cast members, according to imdb (which we can of course, trust about everything), were only part of for at most 14 episodes. It's hard to think that Lori Beth Denberg, the important advice guru, was only in 14 episodes? I still don't quite believe this, as this information comes from imdb, but it's quite a shocker still. Even more of a shocker that she seemed to fall of the face of the Earth after this show.

More shows are supposed to run as the time block gains viewers, as their promo keeps showing, which makes me want the other shows now. Are You Afraid of the Dark, for example, the scary kid's programming precursor to Goosebumps, had so many moments I think back to now that were influential in my mystery writing mind- even if I was too scared to watch the show until I got a bit older. The Adventures of Pete and Pete (a show I have already ordered because I don't want to wait) still makes me wonder where Michelle Trachtenberg would be had she not stood aside Big Pete, Little Pete, and Petunia.

One show that has apparently not made it to the lineup if The Secret World of Alex Mack, a show that for some reason is only on DVD in the first season. This was actually a great disappointment when I finished watching it again recently. I think by the end of the show she actually was caught, but really, how can you tell that without rewatching it. These companies just don't understand us kids of the 90s.

With all this, what if other networks brought back shows. What if Disney started playing Darkwing Duck or Talespin again. I think the world would be a better place. He's the terror that flaps in the night, and brings hope to television.

So for all of us 90s kids who still prefer The Midnight Society and Hey Dude, what are your favorite shows from the 90s?

How Harry Potter has shaped my life

When I woke up this morning, I had a mission— I was going to add a wand holder on the inside of my Hogwarts robes. As much as I still did not understand why, I had one minor problem with this plan, which was I did not own a wand.
I know, why? After all these years, how did I still not own some form of magic wand. So, as part of my mission, I sought out a wand. It did not have to be a terribly sophisticated one, especially as such an extravagant wand from Olivander’s or Alivan's would cost more than a little-paid library clerk who has recently been laid off from his second job can afford—probably more than I could afford with the second job.
Anyway, I went off on my journey for a new wand. Since the owl with my Hogwarts acceptance letter is still lost somewhere and 17 years late, I got into the car and drove around with my list for the day. Between many different shops seeking my prize, I procured other such commodities as Bertie Bott’s Every Flavored Beans (safe jelly beans from Mr. Bulky’s in which I picked out all the flavors myself), felt in which to make the pocket from, and a Gremlin.

(The Gremlin was an added perk of the day, not related to anything I had planned. It’s just adorable)

It’s hard to imagine that only just 10 years ago I became entranced by Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone after I asked my sister to come see the movie with me. Patsy had already seen the movie with her school, already a huge fan of the books. I on the other hand, knew nothing of it other than what I had been told.
Yes, you can all judge me now, as I have judged so many people. I got into the series after watching the movies. After seeing the first movie in the theater, I quickly snatched Patsy’s copy of the first book and became hooked.
It took a while to get into the books, finally jumping into the 5th book as Patsy finished it (I recall I probably sat with puppy dog eyes as I put Goblet down when I realized I had a while to wait before the next book was available).
I, like millions and millions of others in the world, had found a love of the book and movie series. Hogwarts was a far off place where anything was possible and we could go to escape the real-life muggle problems going on.
As it is now, my extreme Harry Potter love is greater than I’d ever imagine 10 years ago. For instance:
As years went on, wizard rock began to happen. I would say it formed, but it really didn’t seem that way. It felt like out of nowhere, wizard rock was abundant without knowing where it truly came from.
During a trip to MacBack’s bookstore in Cleveland Heights, my sister and I noticed a random CD featuring a lightning bolt and the words “Harry and the Potters” laid out in the display case. “Harry and the Potters”? Really? We were cracking up laughing the entire trip home.
Then the trip back to Cleveland Heights in which our group’s car got a flat tire in one of the richer areas of town. Nothing will beat the reaction of the person who’s driveway we pulled into when they saw us, all in full Hogwarts regalia, trying to change a flat tire.
(My friend Angie and I dressed up with other attendees of Remus Lupins concert, Summer 2007)

Wizard Rock is probably what kept my love alive for this series. Most people still look at my iPod playlist and ask me if I have any music that is NOT about Harry Potter. You know, because there is music like that. Even my sister, the one who got me into the series, told me I needed to stop with the Wizard rock because it was just too much. I didn’t care though. I was happy.
These types of events, gatherings of music, crafts, fun, all at the library, helped me decide what I wanted to do in life. After getting an English major, I went for my Masters in Library Science. I’d be a reference librarian. But even then, I felt there was more. Coming to these events, even helping organize one for the final book release, made me realize how much I enjoyed doing these kinds of large and small programs for Young Adults. It made the library an awesome place to go. It was a place to pick up a good book, and maybe a new friend.


After J.K. Rowling made her initial Pottermore announcement, I was ecstatic. As I posted on Facebook:

THERE'S GOING TO BE MORE HARRY POTTER!!!!! THERE'S GOING TO BE MORE HARRY POTTER!! Okay, so we don't know what exactly this is going to be yet- pottermore.com- but THERE'S...gasp....GOING...TO BE... MORE..gasp...HARRY...(can't breathe)... POTTER!!!!!!!

As a response to this, I had one childhood respond with:

wow happy for u but i would not go that crazy over harry potter now if randy orton or the rock showed up at my house yes i go that crazy

Well this is why I was so happy. Harry Potter has shaped my life so much that it even led me to my career studies.

Every song and album I downloaded, every concert I went to, I made friends. Now making friends isn’t the easiest thing for me to do. Even as an adult, I am extremely shy no matter where I am. And yet, while it could often be difficult at times to simply hang out and talk to some musicians or fans, the Internet has allowed Wizard Rock fans to keep in touch both in person and from across the world.
I’ve met so many wonderful people, including Alex Carpenter (The Remus Lupins), Matt Magiaccamo (The Whomping Willows), Nefret Salzberg, who I worked so fruitlessly with on wizardrock.org, my great friend from across the sea in Ireland, Amy Snow (Romilda Vane and the Chocolate Cauldrons, WZRD: Your Wizard Rock Station), Jamie Walker (WZRD). Plus, most recently I came to start talking to the awesome Mike Lombardo, who I never would have even heard of had I never gotten late to an ALL CAPS show where I was playing.
These and so many, so many more people, I have met as a result of Harry Potter, and I hope the current immense number grows.
Next Friday the last movie in the series comes out. That Friday I will be at the theater, tie pulled up, robes assembled, wand and sonic screwdriver in their holsters (I ended up buying a pen wand until I can afford a really good one), and I will most certainly be crying my eyes out the entire time.
I’d like to thank all my friends, close are far away, all the rockers and makers of music, all the book publishers and makers of HP merchandise, and most of all, J.K. Rowling, who if not for her, I’d probably be sitting in a corner right now reading John Green—which would still be freaking awesome, but not as much as he is right now.